Rabbi Yosef David
In this week’s portion, we are commanded to help someone load and unload their animal if they are having difficulty. What if you find two people who both need help, one with unloading the animal and one with loading? The Sages say that you should help with the unloading first, because the animal is potentially in pain and therefore it takes precedence.
The principle of not causing pain to animals is a very important one in Torah. Animals, we believe, are here for us to use — but not abuse. This is a significant distinction. To use an animal for human needs – agriculture, transport, food, clothing — is not only permitted, it is considered doing the animal a favor. Instead of living a mundane and robotic existence, this gives it the opportunity to play a meaningful role in God’s purpose for the Universe.
To cause an animal pain for no purpose, however, is completely prohibited. The way calves are treated to make tender veal, the way hens are kept for eggs, or the way many animals are transported nowadays is frowned upon by Judaism. Torah invented the idea of animal rights at a time when no other society even believed in human rights.
It is important, though, not to take the idea too far. A few years ago, high school students in America were surveyed. If they saw their dog and a stranger drowning and they could only save one, which would they save? Over 80 percent said they would save their dog.
My sense is that the reason for this response is not because these students were taught to value animals so much, but rather they have not been taught to value human beings enough. I don’t believe that anyone who appreciates the value of human life could even consider saving an animal first. Only in a society that has lost its respect for human life can such an answer be given. And when violent crime is commonplace and the average child sees hundreds of deaths on TV and film, respect for human life is bound to suffer.
As with anything, a balance is needed. Animals are to be respected and appreciated. But human beings must be respected and appreciated much, much more. Do not substitute animals for people. As much as our fellow humans might sometimes frustrate and upset us, it is they, not animals, who are created in God’s image.
Over the past few chapters we have noted a gradual shift in the topics Moshe addresses as he imparts his final lessons to the Jewish People. From an extensive polemic against idolatry, the focus shifts to the building of the Temple, and then moves on to other national institutions such as the establishment and mandate of courts, the monarchy and prophets. To a large extent, this week’s parashah narrows the lens, moving to commandments of a more interpersonal or individual nature. Though Moshe touches upon many commandments, one particular topic is mentioned numerous times: marriage.1 Although much of the discussion revolves around what might be called “unconventional relationships” – the wife taken as a captive of war, polygamy and preference of one wife above the other, and more – there is one brief mention of love, marriage and happiness.
When a man takes a new bride, he shall not enter military service or be assigned to any associated duty. He must remain free for his family for one year, and rejoice with his bride. (Dvarim 24:5)
The Sefer HaHinuch, an early (anonymous) book of Mitzvot, notes that the concept of marriage is a stark, polar opposite to sexual promiscuity (that is mentioned earlier in this parashah Dvarim 23:18). The selection of one special person, as described poetically by Adam2 in the Garden of Eden, is the ideal: A man shall therefore leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Bereishit 2:24)
One man, one woman; this a relationship of exclusivity.
In a sense, the nature of marriage mirrors the relationship outlined earlier in Dvarim regarding the Beit Hamikdash. We are told to serve God in one chosen, special place: “Do away with all the places where the nations whom you are driving out worship their gods, [whether they are] on the high mountains, on the hills, or under any luxuriant tree…You may not worship the Almighty God in such a manner. This you may do only on the site that the Almighty God will choose from among all your tribes, as a place established in His name. It is there that you shall go to seek His presence. (Devarim 12:2-5)”
While the idolaters worshiped under every tree and upon every hill and high place, the Jews were commanded to worship God exclusively in one centralized place – a place later identified as Jerusalem. We might say that the difference between the Jewish approach to worship and the idolatrous approach is the difference between a “one night stand” and a marriage, between promiscuity and the union of two people joined in holiness. Idolatry, particularly regarding the element of immediate gratification, is spiritual promiscuity.
When a bride and groom rejoice in one another, their happiness stems in no small part from the joy of exclusivity, from the knowledge that their chosen partner is the only person with whom they will share the holiness of marriage and sexual intimacy. This is happiness born of holiness. In this context, the Talmud teaches us that not only is it incumbent upon the husband to bring joy and happiness to his spouse, but all those who attend the wedding are commanded to bring happiness to the new couple. In fact, the Talmud (Talmud Bavli Brachot 6b) goes so far as to say that whoever successfully brings joy to the bride and groom, is considered to have rebuilt “one of the ruins of Jerusalem.”
As we know, the ruin of Jerusalem is the Temple itself, a building dedicated to the exclusive relationship between God and His People. When the people “cheated” on God, as was the case during the First Temple era, or simply took their relationship with Him for granted, as was the case during the Second Temple era, the Temple was destroyed. On the personal scale, marriage, with its essential component of exclusivity, serves as a metaphor for the relationship between man and God; in essence, it is a microcosm of that relationship. When a husband and wife find joy in this holiness of marriage, they build not only their own interpersonal relationship, but also the community as a whole, as well as the relationship between man and God. They become partners in the rebuilding of the Temple.
Every Jewish home is holy. In a sense, every Jewish home is a microcosm of the Holy Temple.
Therefore, every happy Jewish home serves as a step to the complete rebuilding of Jerusalem.
For a more in-depth analysis see:
http://arikahn.blogspot.co.il/2015/08/essays-and-audio-on-parashat-ki-tetze.html
NOTES
1. This essay is dedicated to the marriage of our son Yosef Dov, to Shoval Cohen.
2. There are those who claim this declaration was an “editorial” statement made by God.
From this week’s Torah portion:
A false rumor is no form of humor. In this week’s Torah portion (22:13) we learn how wrong it is to spread rumors that can harm people’s feelings and reputations.
In our story, some kids get tangled up in a web of rumors.
“I’m really kind of nervous about starting school today, not knowing anybody and everything,” Heather said to mother, who was driving her.
“Making new starts are never easy,” her mom said. “But I think it’s going to work out just fine. I just spoke to your new teacher on the phone, to let her know we were on our way. She mentioned that the kids in your class are super friendly and always make a newcomer feel at home.”
Meanwhile:
“Guess what?” Jenny asked her friend, Kate, as the kids were milling around their homeroom class before the bell rang, signaling the start of the first school day of the year. “I overheard the teacher talking on her cell phone out in the hall. A new kid who moved to town is on her way. The teacher called the kid’s mom ‘Doctor’ so I bet she’s on the staff at the cross-town hospital.”
Paula, who half-overheard, turned to Sharon and whispered, “Did you hear that? A new kid’s coming whose mom is in the hospital. I wonder if it’s something serious.”
Sharon nodded earnestly and as soon as Paula left, she went over to her friend, Liz and said, “You know what I just heard? There’s a new kid on the way who has some kind of serious disease and just got out of the hospital. Do you think she’s contagious?”
Debby’s eyes widened at the scary news she overheard and she immediately went over to a group of kids and said, “Don’t get near the new kid when she walks in. She’s got a contagious disease!”
“Thanks Mom,” she answered. “I feel so much better since you told me it’s supposed to be a friendly class. If they weren’t, I think I’d just shrink under my desk and stay there forever.”
The teacher, noticing the commotion, walked over to them. “Hey, I know it’s first day, but can we try to calm down a little?”
“Calm down?” Lynne blurted out. “How can we calm down when we’re all about to catch a deadly disease from the new kid who’s about to come?”
“What?” the teacher startled. “Yes there’s a new student on the way, but she doesn’t have any disease. Where on earth did that crazy rumor come from?”
“Well…I heard it from Debby,” Lynn said as all eyes shot to Debby.
“Well that’s what Paula said!” she countered.
“But I heard it from Jenny!” Paula insisted.
“Well, Jenny?” the teacher asked.
“But I heard everything about the kid’s terrible disease from Lynne. Until then all I knew was that her mom worked as a doctor. Or at least that’s what I overheard…you say over the phone.”
All the kids looked at Jenny as the teacher shook her head. “And that’s all there is to know. I promise you all that the new girl is just fine and you’d all better give her a warm welcome.”
Just then the door opened. Heather walked in and the kids in the class – who all realized what a terrible mistake they had just almost made — were very friendly. As Heather settled in, little did she know she had almost been a victim of a terrible contagious disease — called rumors.
Discussion Questions
Ages 3-5
Q. How did the kids in the class feel about the new kid who was coming, at first?
A. They were afraid because of the rumors they’d heard.
Q. How did they feel in the end?
A. They were embarrassed that they’d believed false rumors.
Ages 6-9
Q. What life-lesson could someone learn from this story?
A. Rumors have a way of spreading like wildfire and can be just as harmful. We have to be careful not to say things we’re not sure of and not believe at face value everything we hear.
Q. What do you think would have happened if Heather had walked in before the teacher set the class straight?
A. The kids would have avoided and stigmatized her so much that she might never have adjusted to the new school or felt like she fit in. Spreading rumors can really damage someone’s life.
Ages 10 and Up
Q. What’s the proper way to react if we hear a rumor?
A. We certainly shouldn’t spread it or accept it as fact. If it’s something that could genuinely impact our lives we can check out its veracity. If not, best to just let it fly in one ear…and out the other.
Q. Did the kids who spread the rumors have bad intentions?
A. No. If they had, it would have been much worse. But even well-intentioned rumors can confuse and cause harm and should be avoided.
Quote of the Week
“First mend yourself; and then mend others” — Jewish proverb
Joke of the Week
Solly was a go getter. He wanted to be the first of his friends to have a car and he wanted to buy it with his own money. Sure enough, just after he turned 16 he had saved up enough money to buy a car. But unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to put away a lot of money so the car was, well, not in the best of health.
One morning, Solly’s mother was surprised to see his car parked in front of the house even though he was at school. When Solly returned home she asked him about it.
“I had to get to school early,” Solly said, “so I just ran.”
Shabbat Shalom!
Staff: Rabbi Yosef David, Rabbi Shmuel Greenwald, Mimi David, Shelley Dean, Caren Goldstein, Orit Kogan
Board of Directors: Jenn Cohen, Adam Herman, Bob Kaiser, Lizzy Goldenhersh Kline, Mike Minoff, Ella Pernik, Leila Redlich, Caryn Rudman, Bruce Waxman, Tziona Zeffren