Shabbat Shalom Weekly
Torah Portion: Matot – Masei
How Do We Find Joy in the Process
by Chief Rabbi Warren Goldstein
A waiter remembers every detail of an order but forgets those details as soon as the plates hit the table. Inspired by this thought experiment, German psychologist Bluma Wulfovna Zeigarnik conducted a series of laboratory tests to demonstrate that people have a better recollection of the puzzles they are prevented from finishing than those they have completed. Evidently, our brains are wired to be preoccupied with the details of incomplete tasks. We have a deep-seated need to see things to the end. The human condition is to not be satisfied, to not let our minds rest, until we do what we set out do to.
The problem is, very often we don’t. Very often, for whatever reason, we simply aren’t able to reach the finish line.
One of our great sages of the twentieth century, Rav Eliyahu Dessler, writes, “We are born in the middle of things and we die in the middle of things.” Friends — life is messy. Full of loose ends, false starts, unfulfilled objectives. The question is, what should our attitude be to this unsatisfying state of affairs?
In this week’s Torah portion, Masei, God gives Moshe the mitzvah of designating the cities of refuge – safe spaces for those who have inadvertently taken a life to escape to, to seek refuge from avenging parties and for atonement. There were six cities of refuge to be established – three east of the Jordan River and three west of the Jordan River. The eastern territory had already been conquered by this stage, and to get things started, Moshe was tasked with establishing these first three cities. He did this with great enthusiasm, knowing that he would never get to establish the three western cities, because God had decreed that he would not cross the Jordan River and lead the Jewish people into the land of Israel. That mission was left to his successor, Joshua.
Analyzing the verse, Rashi comments that the six cities were a single bloc, and that none of the cities would be operational until all six were established. This means that the three eastern cities that Moshe set up did not become operational until Joshua conquered the western side of the Jordan River and established the other three. In other words, not only did Moshe not have the chance to complete the task, but he also never got to see any of the fruits of his efforts realized. The Talmud (Makot 10a) says this was a mark of Moshe’s greatness — that his passion for fulfilling God’s will was such that he threw himself into the task of establishing these cities even though he knew he would never complete it.
The obvious lesson here is that we need to savour each moment, each accomplishment, each step along our life’s journey. On the one hand, it’s good to be goal-oriented and to keep an eye on the destination. On the other hand, we cannot be consumed with our goals to the point where we are unable to savour the small moments and the small victories. Because these small moments and small victories are an important part of our lives.
Every moment of life is precious. We learn this from pikuach nefesh – the principle that virtually all of the Torah’s laws are suspended in order to save a life. Even if it’s to prolong that life for a few moments. Life is nothing but the sum of small moments. Each moment is sacred because life is sacred.
Torah learning provides a good illustration of the importance of small moments and small victories. The Mishna teaches that the mitzvah of learning Torah has no fixed limit. The Vilna Gaon has a novel reading of the Mishna. He says that this teaching applies at both ends of the spectrum – there is no upper limit on the amount of Torah one can learn, but there is also no minimum amount; each word of Torah we learn is a distinct mitzvah with eternal value.
Kindness is another example. We have a Torah mandate to make this world a kinder, gentler place. But the mitzvah of chesed is fulfilled through incremental actions and gestures – a kind word, a small gesture, a brief embrace. Tzedakah is another example – a mitzvah performed one coin at a time. And prayer. It is made up of many individual words. Each of which has its own meaning and opportunity for devotion and connection to God.
We see this principle articulated most explicitly in the Mishna in Pirkei Avot: “It is not on you to complete the work, but nor are you free to desist from it.” (Pirkei Avot 2:16). Though the Mishnah is referring specifically to the mitzvah of Torah learning, which being God’s infinite wisdom, by definition can never fully be comprehended or “completed”, it applies no less to every mitzvah we perform, and all of the objectives we pursue over the course of our lives. “We are born in the middle of things and we die in the middle of things.”
This could also be the message at the beginning of our Torah portion, Masei, which chronicles the journey of the Jewish people in the desert in painstaking detail. Each leg, each stopover of the 40-year journey is mentioned by name. Why is that? If anything there’s good reason not to dwell on the drawn-out journey, which only became necessary because of the sin of the spies. But perhaps the verse does so to underline that each step of a journey is important, each moment is significant, each mitzvah is a milestone. We should not look at life as one unit. We should savour each of its components.
The arc of Moshe’s life embodies this idea. He was appointed with the mandate to lead the Jewish people out of Egypt, bring them to Mount Sinai to receive the Torah, and then to lead them into the land of Israel. Due to events in the desert, Moshe’s mandate to lead the people into Israel was transferred to Joshua. And so in a certain fundamental sense his mission was incomplete. The fairy tale ending would have been Moshe triumphantly leading the people into the land of Israel. But the Torah is a book of truth. It’s a description of life as it is. And in real life “We are born in the middle of things, and we die in the middle of things.” There are no neat beginnings and endings, no neat resolutions. God is the master of the universe and it is not in our hands to complete our arcs and wrap up our lives in a neat little bow. All we can do is focus on and appreciate each moment; take each task and each mitzvah one at a time; ensure we win life’s small victories.
All we can do is live with complete faith that Hashem will give us the time we need on this earth to do what we need to do — what we were born to do — even if it feels messy and unsatisfactory, even if it feels that things are incomplete.
The key is to live with humility and appreciation — the humility that comes with understanding that we don’t control everything, and the appreciation that comes with savouring each moment and each small victory. And we need to encourage that attitude in our children. To encourage them in each milestone accomplished, each mitzvah performed, each moment of grace and kindness, no matter how seemingly small.
As Jews, we believe in a Final Redemption — an era of the Messiah, in which the world is perfected, peace and closeness to God reign on earth, and human history is brought to a glorious close. We all long for such a time. And yet there is only one generation that will merit to witness this closure. We hope and pray that we are that generation — that the redemption happens today — and yet we carry on with our lives with the peace of mind that every good deed we do, every step we take in the right direction, every small difference we make in improving the world we live in is part of the unfolding of human history and leading inexorably towards the time we all long for.
It’s about the small steps on the journey of life.
A Lush Land
by Rabbi Ari Kahn
After countless delays, punishments and disappointments, as the Jews draw tantalizingly close to the Promised Land, a strange request is made by the tribes of Reuven and Gad: “They said, ‘If you would grant us a favor, let this land be given to us as our permanent property, and do not bring us across the Jordan.’ “(B’midbar 32:5)
These words must have been particularly painful to Moshe: He pined and prayed for permission to cross into the Land of Israel, while these tribes, Reuven and Gad, seek permission to do just the opposite. They hope to remain outside the Land, on the eastern bank of the Jordan River.
Moshe’s initial response is far from enthusiastic, but subsequently terms and conditions are worked out to satisfy both sides: These tribes will take an active role in the conquest of the Promised Land, and only then will they return to the lush grazing land they have chosen outside of Israel proper. The descendants of Gad and Reuven responded, ‘We will do whatever God has told us. We will cross over as a special force to the land of Canaan, and we shall then have our permanent hereditary property on [this] side of the Jordan.’ (B’midbar 32:31-32)
Quietly, almost imperceptibly, when the deal is finalized, a third tribe materializes, and joins the other two tribes in Transjordan: To the descendants of Gad and Reuven, and to half the tribe of Menasheh (son of Yosef), Moshe then gave the kingdom of Sichon (king of the Amorites) and the kingdom of Og (king of the Bashan). [He gave them] the land along with the cities along its surrounding borders. (B’midbar 32:33)
For some unexplained reason, a third tribe, Menasheh is included in this arrangement. The Torah offers no explanation; various commentaries have attempted to fill in the gaps. Ramban suggests that the tribes of Reuven and Gad initiated the broadening of their “coalition” in an attempt to ameliorate their feelings of isolation. A considerable number of the members of Menasheh were persuaded that the “REAL estate” already conquered by the Israelites on the eastern bank of the Jordan was preferable to the “theoretical” land that awaited them, as yet unconquered, on the other side. In Ramban’s view, Menashe joined the other two tribes in an arrangement motivated by greed; their only thought was of turning a “quick buck.”
An almost diametrically opposed explanation is offered by the famed Rosh Yeshiva of Volozhin, Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehudah Berlin. In his view, the addition of the Menashites to this group was not initiated by any of the three tribes involved; rather, the “culprit” was Moshe himself. Moshe was the greatest leader of the Jewish People and as such, he was unwilling to leave part of his flock – especially those who seemed to be “ideologically challenged,” who preferred the anticipated profits from their flocks to life in the Holy Land – all alone outside the borders of Israel. Moshe chose a group of people whom he felt he could trust to be the spiritual leaders and teachers of this far-flung community. Moshe hoped that these descendants of Yosef would follow their forefather’s example, and take care of their brothers. He had faith in the power of Jewish community, and relied upon the mutual responsibility that members of all Jewish communities have to look after one another — socially and spiritually.
Was it greed or ideology, then, that led half the families of the tribe of Menashe to join those who chose the verdant lands outside of Israel? In either case, their social experiment was neither successful nor long-lived. When the Children of Israel were cast into exile, these two-and-a-half tribes were the first to be carried off into captivity, the first to be lost. The East Bank never became a place that could boast about its thriving, vibrant, Torah-centric community. In fact, the only thing they might have boasted about was their identification with the mysterious, unmarked grave of a great Jew who very much wished to cross the Jordan — the man who was outraged by their request to stay outside the Land: Tragically, Moshe, our greatest teacher and our most faithful shepherd, was forced to remain just beyond the border, together with a few tribes who were, just as tragically, indifferent.
For a more in-depth analysis see: http://arikahn.blogspot.co.il/2015/07/audio-and-essays-parshiot-matot-masai.html
Accidentally On Purpose
by Nesanel Yoel Safran
From This Week’s Portion
There’s a difference between doing something by accident and doing it on purpose. In this week’s Torah portion (Num. 35:16-25) we learn that while someone who intentionally murders an innocent person is liable for a death penalty, one who accidentally kills another is not. So too, we should know that – even if the result is the same – we should look at something done by accident and something done on purpose, in two different ways.
In our story, a girl discovers that sometimes it’s the intention that makes all the difference.
Jane liked most of camp. The Olympic-sized swimming pool was a dream. The sports fields were top-notch. The counselors were nice and (at least usually) let her do what she wanted. But there was one thing about camp she simply couldn’t stand … the food.
True, she was a bit spoiled in the food department. At home, her older brother – studying to be a chef – often treated her to his five-star cooking experiments. And if not, there were plenty of great take-out spots just a phone call away. But here at camp everything tasted like cardboard.
Of course, she’d complained to the kitchen manager, but the woman had refused to even listen. “Everyone else likes it just fine,” she’d said.
But Jane didn’t care about what everyone else liked. She hated the food and also wished there was some way she could make a protest against that mean manager.
These were the thoughts on her mind as, like every morning, she sat moping over her breakfast tray of cardboard eggs, cardboard toast and (liquid) cardboard orange juice. Suddenly she heard a crash-smash-splash behind her.
A kid at the next table had accidentally knocked over a full pitcher of juice! The table, chairs and floor were all a big, sticky, orange mess. Jane saw the kitchen manager rush over – boy, was the kid who knocked it over gonna get it! Jane thought. But to her surprise, the manager just gave the kid, who was beet-red with embarrassment, a little shrug, grabbed a mop, and cleaned it up.
Wow, Jane thought, for a big mess like that, no punishment, no nothing.
Suddenly she felt a grin grab the corners of her mouth and tug them toward the fans on the ceiling. She’d have her protest after all…
That day at lunch, Jane made sure to sit close to the edge of a table and make sure there was a full-to-the-brim pitcher of (cardboard) Kool-Aid in front of her. While the kids sitting next to her were distracted, she gave the pitcher a protest shove with her elbow and smiled as the red, sticky liquid went splash dancing on the floor.
As she’d expected, the kitchen manager came running over holding a mop. But not as Jane expected, instead of just giving her a mild shrug like he had to the other kid – the manager handed the mop to her!
“Okay, clean it up,” she said with a no-nonsense voice.
Jane was stunned. “W-why me?” she asked.
“You’re the one who spilled it, aren’t you?”
“Well, yeah,” Jane said, since there was no denying it. “But today at breakfast another kid spilled a pitcher and you mopped it up. So it’s simply not fair to now expect me to do it.”
Jane was certain that her logic was perfect and the kitchen manager would soon get to work – but no such luck.
“Young lady, if you don’t clean up every drop of the mess you made, I’m going to report you to the head counselor.”
“But why?” Jane insisted, now feeling very on-the-spot. “Me and that other kid did the exact same thing.”
“You did not,” the woman responded. “I saw both spills happen. This morning the girl spilled the pitcher totally by accident, so why should I get upset at her? Just now, you spilled it on purpose. The two spills were not the same at all.”
As Jane dragged the wet mop across the sticky floor, she realized that what she’d done — and what she’d learned from it — had all been no ‘accident.’
Discussion Questions
Ages 3-5
Q. How did Jane feel when she first spilled the pitcher of drink?
A. She was happy that now the manager was going to have to clean it up like she had before when another kid did the same thing.
Q. How did she feel at the end?
A. She realized that what she’d done was different, since she’d spilled it on purpose.
Ages 6-9
Q. What life-lesson do you think Jane learned that day?
A. She’d thought that doing the same thing by accident, and doing it on purpose should be treated the same way. But she discovered that there was a big difference.
Q. Why do you think the kitchen manager treated the two spills differently?
A. The first spill was an accident. While perhaps the kid could have been more careful, she wasn’t intentionally trying to make a mess and cause the manager extra work, so it could be easily forgiven. But Jane’s spill was an intentional unkind act that shouldn’t have gone without consequences.
Ages 10 and Up
Q. Why should it matter what a person’s intention is, if the end result is the same?
A. Life is more than just a sum of its physical events. True, a spilled pitcher of drink makes no more or less physical mess if it’s spilled on purpose or spilled accidentally. However, intentional negative acts make much more of a ‘spiritual’ mess – such as create bad feelings within and between people – than the same act done by accident.
Q. Is there a difference between good, positive acts done accidentally and those done intentionally?
A. While on the surface, the result might look the same, someone who does something positive, on purpose, is not only improving his character, but is giving a spiritual ‘positive charge’ to the world.
Quote of the Week
“A little light dispels a lot of darkness” — Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi
Joke of the Week
Bubbie and Zadie were babysitting Shloimie whose parents were out of town for a few days.
“Bubbie, what’s for dinner tonight?” Shloimie asked.
“Baked tongue of chicken!” Bubbie proudly replied.
“Baked tongue of chicken? Yuck! That’s gross! I would never eat something that came out of a chicken’s mouth!” Shloimie exclaimed.
“OK, I can make you something else,” Bubbie said, unfazed. “What would you like?”
“How about scrambled eggs?”
Shabbat Shalom!
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